You ever feel like the energy barbarians are pulling you apart, limb for limb? Does your day drag like an episode of Rupaul? Are you letting the man get you down, or are you just straight up tired? If you answered yes to any of these questions, we highly recommend you have a dose of what we’re having.
Last Friday, as I was coasting into the final three hours of my day, frantic emails flooded my inbox. Subject lines with scary buzz words stared me in the face. ASAP. Urgent. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them, my blank canvas of a calendar looked like a messed up game of jenga, rectangular blocks of time stacked on top of one another. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Blech, blech, blech.
Reluctantly, I hit accept. At the same time, my mother was calling: pick up the phone, it’s me, your mother! Like a lime in a margarita, I could tell she wanted to squeeze the last bit of life out of me (love you, mom). Meanwhile, outside my window, New York was bumping with newfound life, life that only a hot day in March could bring back from the dead. It seemed like everyone and their mother, including mine, was ready to seize the day by the balls. And then there was me, dozing off at the wheel.
Desperate to come alive, I scoured my kitchen for the perfect pick-me-up. I needed to convince people behind the computer screen and beyond that I wasn’t a giant sack of sleep and that I was, like everything else around me, a big ball of energy. As I watched the clock hit three, I kissed my coffee goodnight—I had to cut myself off. I knew what would happen if I didn’t. Being awake and getting shit done during the day is cool, but you know what’s even cooler? Getting a fat night’s sleep and waking up replenished.
There aren’t many rules I swear by in life. Sure, be a good person, don’t litter, never wave your credit card in a bartenders face. Besides the basics, I try to live life with a tablespoon of nothing matters, because at the end of the day, not much does. But sleep matters. What shitty sleep does to your mind, body, and soul matters. So when it comes to what I can and cannot consume past three o’clock, I have some rules. Coffee being one of the things I cannot. For if I do, I will find myself lying awake at four AM, deep in the depths of a Reddit k-hole, slamming my head against the pillow with regret. All because I drank that jitter juice past three.
That’s why this recipe rules. Call it an Iced Chaga Milk, call it the mushroom-based boost of energy without all the late night drama. When your to-do list is the length of a CVS receipt and your chill Friday afternoon turns into a corporate soap opera, you’re gonna need all the drive you can get. You’re also gonna wanna knock the hell out when it’s time to hit the sack. You shouldn’t have to choose between the two. Don’t worry, you don’t have to. We got you.
This recipe is dedicated to those late afternoon calls. To the plans you made a week ago and promised you wouldn’t cancel. To the go-getters in the back and the hustlers running the show. Kick your feet up, relax, and savor the ride.
- 1 packet of Chagaccino
- 1 cup of *plant-based milk
- 1-2 tablespoons of hot water
HOW TO MAKE IT
- Cop a box of Chagaccino.
- Grab a cup and pour 1-2 tablespoons of hot water in it.
- Pour in 1 packet of Chagaccino and stir.
- Pour in your “milk”. Quotation marks for legal reasons.
- Stir, drink, and enjoy.